Life in the Balance: Focus on Self-Love, Live a Contented Life Pt. 2

Picking up where I left off in the first part of living life in the balance, I spoke about letting go of anger and how damaging it can be to our being. In this second part, I am going to share with you more on how to live a happier life by focusing on self-love.

Now, what is self-love in general? What is the exact definition of self-love to you? And why is it so important to self-love in order to be happy? In my opinion, to love myself simple means having a high regard for my own well-being and happiness. Loving myself also means not settling for less than what I deserve. Self-love is not about pleasing other people, it's about taking care of my own needs and desires.

Yes. Me! Myself! Mine! All me! Heck, I might be mistakenly taken as an egoistic narcissist! But there I go, thinking about what others might think of me. Where is the self-love? But if I'm just thinking of myself, does that make me full of myself? No.

Hell no! Loving myself does not make me self-centered! It doesn't mean that I think myself as the prettiest, smartest or even the best among everyone! On the contrary, self-love means accepting myself for the person I am with all my flaws and weaknesses. It means appreciating my shortcomings. These imperfections are my uniqueness. These are what make me who I am. Accepting them gives me the compassion for myself. Self-worth.

However, it takes a lot of work to love myself. I have to put myself before others, unless I'm a selfish bitch. It's about taking care of myself; my body, soul and mind. It's about nourishing myself.

Taking care of myself. This one plays a big part in learning how to love myself and it's not easy, for sure. I've got to start taking care of my body and eating right so I can carry myself on this new journey towards a happier life. I should go to bed early and make sure I get enough rest. Maybe I should start meditating to loosen up and be a calmer person. Exercising is also important for a better and healthier physique. If I take care of myself, I will be the best version of me. Again, self-worth.

Forgive myself for my past mistakes. I've got to stop focusing on whatever faults and insecurities I have. Reflecting on the poor choices I have made in the past is not going to help me forget. If I don't forgive myself, I can't move on. I try to think a lot of the positives to associate with my hardships. Only by forgiving, I can move on and start appreciating the things that I am happy about like my family, life and career achievements. Forgiving myself is self-worth.

Care less about what people think of me. Why should I care? Whether it's about my life choices, career decisions or even my financial stability. As a kid, I listened to my parents because I cared. And I still do because they are my parents. But other people are not. By other people, I meant people who constantly condemn me. These people were mostly the ones I barely even knew but telling me how to live my life. So why did I listen to them? Maybe because I cared. Maybe because they knew better. Or so I thought. So yeah, I listened and sometimes, I didn't. And when my ego kicked in, I went my way, instead. But then, began the doubt that maybe what I was doing was wrong. As if all the self-doubt wasn’t enough. Then I thought, why dull my shine for somebody else who barely know me? So, the hell with them!

Don’t care about what they think. I always believe that when people lure about other people's lives doesn't mean they are not struggling or hitting any bumps in theirs. Maybe it's just an act to conceal whatever insecurities they have and most of the time, I'm not even their intended target, it may just be random. Maybe when they see my weaker side, it's easier for them to prey on me and make me feel shittier about myself. As long as I am worried of what others think of me, I am owned by them. So, I am not letting them win! And there I go again, self-worth.

Have fun by myself. I always tell myself to take a break. Have some time to do something fun for myself, learn to enjoy my own company, I know it sounds weird, but it is one of the best ways to really understand myself better. I know my behaviour and personality may have changed as I age. So, by taking a breather and focusing on myself is key to succeed in self-love. By doing this, maybe I would find a new hobby, interest or even a sport, who knows! And sometimes, things like this is better to discover on our own, you know? So, what else could I be doing to have fun by myself? Well, I used to like traveling. So, maybe traveling on my own to destinations I once dreamed of going could also be a good thing! This could also help bring me out of my normal routine which sometimes can be mundane and stressful. It would definitely be a great self-love experience because I actually get to go to places I've been dying to go and being able to travel around "my way" without having to really be concern of others will put me in my comfort zone. I'll also get to learn about new cultures (and meet new open -minded people) on my trip. Not only this is stress-free but I would really get to spend quality, meaningful time with myself!

I keep asking, why is it so important to love myself? Honestly it is one of the best things I can do for myself. After all the heart breaks, stress and self-ignorance, I think I owe myself a big one like this. It's about giving back to myself. Self-loving makes me confident about so many things. It gives me the self-worth that naturally helps me feel more positive. I start seeing things in a better view, like in a good perspective. When I started doing this, I don't find fault in others and I don't try to see the ugliness of people as much as I did before. Somehow, I find it easier to like people.

In simpler words, when we love ourselves, it makes us happier and automatically, it brings out the best in us. When these happen, we tend to stop comparing ourselves to others so much and not worrying about what others think. We just stop looking down at ourselves and that is what self-love is all about. Never ever pin ourselves to the ground based on the best of others. It's self-destructing.

There's this saying by Fred Rogers, "You can't really love someone else unless you really love yourself first." I truly believe and go by this. No one can love others better before they love themselves. It just doesn't work that way. Even if it does, it's not long-lasting and it will definitely damage the person loving on the inside. If you can't appreciate yourself, how can you possibly appreciate the other person? I just can't fathom the idea of selfless love anymore.