Aidan Soliano: The Arrival

Aidan was 9 days overdue. I couldn't wait another day, so on the morning before his forced induced arrival, we went to the hospital, hoping that the doctor would induce me to labour. Wishful thinking. She told me to wait for another day. Since I wasn't even dilated, she did a stretch and sweep (S&S) to my cervix (forced dilation: 1cm) before admitting me to the ward. It was an awkward experience but I was up for anything just so I could see my baby boy already!

The doctor had to S&S me for a second time. Contractions started at 4 p.m that day and the gaps were already close. Up 'til the early hours, I was all bloodied, waist down (really, my bed was like a crime scene) but dilated at only 3cm. At 7 a.m, the doctor came and did one last S&S before saying, Okay, let's get you to the labour room." Finally.

I spent the longest 6 hours in there. I remember tossing and turning in bed. I remember the doctor breaking my water and felt warm fluid gushing out. I also remember vividly that I cried, begging the midwife-in-charge to remove the ECG cables in between contractions. I remember asking for painkillers but the doctor won't give me any because my blood was thinning. A blood test was required before they could give me anything for pain. I had to wait for 2 hours before the result came. Instead of painkillers, I was given an oxygen tank, the only thing I was allowed to take to suppress the pain from my frequent contractions. So every time the contractions kicked in, I had to breathe in the mask. Weird but it was to calm me down. I could still feel the pain, of course, but I was too high to even care.

At the fifth hour, I started feeling constipated. "Shit, I think I need to poo", I told DS. But he said that that's the baby's head. Yeah, like how would he know. I felt like an enormous watermelon trying to get out from my butt hole. I felt like my butt was going to explode! I could really feel the roundness of his head when I tried to close my legs together. I started pushing out, like you would normally do when you poop. Little did I know, I was actually forcing Aidan out before he was ready. Forgive me, my dear boy. The doctor came in to tell DS that they need to perform an emergency cesarean on me because Aidan was in fetal distress.

I was seated down on the operation bed with my legs forward. Within seconds after I was injected with anaesthesia (spinal block) down my spine with a huge ass needle, the contractions were gone. The whole procedure only took about an hour. As I was getting my wound treated, I suddenly felt so cold that I was visibly shivering. I remember trying to hear for Aidan's cry but all I could hear was his soft coos from a distance. I couldn't wait to see him.

Back at the ward, I had so many emotions going on. I couldn't wait to see him. I was nervous. What if he doesn't like me as his mommy? What if I have no breastmilk for him? And then the nurse wheeled his crib to me, with him inside. Hello, my boy. I cried a little. I fell in love the moment I laid eyes on him, the first time I held him. He was breathtaking, a godsend. I am now a mother. I felt complete.